Lost, again
Rejection from 3 local universities again. NTU letter came first and I thought...hmm I can take it... 2 days later, another 2 came and here I am, sitting in front of my lappy blogging about it. I don get it and should I say I've finally gotten the answer from You? I asked if going to the 3 universities was where You wanted me to go since You gave me a GPA of 3.6 but yet, I'm rejected thrice in 2 years consecutively. I really feel like a loser now. Yep there's definitely people facing much worst situation than this but I wana know truely, if this is wad You have planned for me or that is there something I should do first?
Fame, recognition, girls were some of the factors, I'm sure of it. You were not one of the factors I have considered when i'm applying for uni, maybe that's where I had gone wrong but how do I put You as one of the main factor? I cant see the link!!! It feels dam shitty now.
I'm retaking O's this year but I have yet to start studying. There's just too many distractions around. For some reason, I kind of find that my englihs really sucks to the core. Simple vocabulary and I dont even understand it. Lord! I've paid for the exams. Taken the first step already so pls continue to guide me. Comfort me as You know it's hard for me to accept rejection from the uni I truely wish to enter.
What I really need now is wisdom, strength and faith. Guide me O lord before I break apart. Whatever the outcome is, I just prayed that I'll be able to accept it with a open mind :)
Time to show who's the strong one here...
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Faith In Christianity?
Been waiting for weeks. Came back from sony service centre and my instincts tell me today is the day. Saw the postman delivering the letters and I stood beside him hoping to see the letter. All the letters were of the same size which would means that it can only be of the same result last year. True enough. NTU. WHy? 3.6? Isnt it good enough? This is my second year trying. I've been working hard and waiting for the day to gain entry to the 3 local uni and what now? What is it that you want of me? I'm just wasting my time, energy, money and effort for nothing. I cant see you, I cant hear you and I cant feel you. All I know is, I'm living each day by faith in you, by my own assumptions that everything is running smoothly.
I know, it'll be the same outcome for smu. My last hope, NUS.
Sigh... I drifting further and further away from this faith. I want it back. I want to be a good example, a good testimony in whatever I do, for I wana do it for u not me. If this is what you want of me, then pls stop me from all my wishful thinking.
Been waiting for weeks. Came back from sony service centre and my instincts tell me today is the day. Saw the postman delivering the letters and I stood beside him hoping to see the letter. All the letters were of the same size which would means that it can only be of the same result last year. True enough. NTU. WHy? 3.6? Isnt it good enough? This is my second year trying. I've been working hard and waiting for the day to gain entry to the 3 local uni and what now? What is it that you want of me? I'm just wasting my time, energy, money and effort for nothing. I cant see you, I cant hear you and I cant feel you. All I know is, I'm living each day by faith in you, by my own assumptions that everything is running smoothly.
I know, it'll be the same outcome for smu. My last hope, NUS.
Sigh... I drifting further and further away from this faith. I want it back. I want to be a good example, a good testimony in whatever I do, for I wana do it for u not me. If this is what you want of me, then pls stop me from all my wishful thinking.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Updates
Who was the one who said he'll upload the photos within one or two days? LOL!!! As usual, busy and commitments were the excuses he gave. Haha! I don blame him for that of course, afterall I'm the one who's craving for the photos hahahaha! Potential new dp for my facebook. LOL! I still appreciate the effort of him uploading the photos and tagging me hahaha thanks! And btw, both of you gotta know my tone when I type something, whether is it casual or out of anger!!! Come on! You should be able to tell lol.
It's 10 May today. How many of the lazy bums have already made the effort to go online and reject the uni's offer? As long as they dont, I might not be able to receive the letter any sooner and worse come worse, a rejection letter again? Cant wait for the results!!!!
I'm sick of working though it's not physically straining. Guess I'm putting on weight already. My stress comes from the schedule and selfish ppl playing stunts on me. God! Protect me from all these ppl!!! I'm really bored from working!!! Brought the book ding yue lent me and some o lvl eng materials to read up but I just cant find the motivation to study for my o's!!!
Was talking to one of the regimental guards and suddenly he just told me that he thought I was a chinese speaking guy and I was stunned. Yep all along I'm one. He asked me if I was, and yep I admitted. WOo hoo!!! A good sign. What's left now should be none other than my writings!!!
Went to catch thor with ernest at cwp right after work. Kai ying's working at cathay now haha! Anyway the show was really nice and touching!!! Much better than I had expected.
I need some motivation!!!!!
Who was the one who said he'll upload the photos within one or two days? LOL!!! As usual, busy and commitments were the excuses he gave. Haha! I don blame him for that of course, afterall I'm the one who's craving for the photos hahahaha! Potential new dp for my facebook. LOL! I still appreciate the effort of him uploading the photos and tagging me hahaha thanks! And btw, both of you gotta know my tone when I type something, whether is it casual or out of anger!!! Come on! You should be able to tell lol.
It's 10 May today. How many of the lazy bums have already made the effort to go online and reject the uni's offer? As long as they dont, I might not be able to receive the letter any sooner and worse come worse, a rejection letter again? Cant wait for the results!!!!
I'm sick of working though it's not physically straining. Guess I'm putting on weight already. My stress comes from the schedule and selfish ppl playing stunts on me. God! Protect me from all these ppl!!! I'm really bored from working!!! Brought the book ding yue lent me and some o lvl eng materials to read up but I just cant find the motivation to study for my o's!!!
Was talking to one of the regimental guards and suddenly he just told me that he thought I was a chinese speaking guy and I was stunned. Yep all along I'm one. He asked me if I was, and yep I admitted. WOo hoo!!! A good sign. What's left now should be none other than my writings!!!
Went to catch thor with ernest at cwp right after work. Kai ying's working at cathay now haha! Anyway the show was really nice and touching!!! Much better than I had expected.
I need some motivation!!!!!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Aliens Vs Predators
Aliens vs predators? It's as good as saying the aliens are the preys. Yea that's wad's happening to me currently. I'm new and we're the one of the first few batch of elites posted to this new place. We're alien to them of course. I thought this group of guys I'm with are my allies but some are starting to prey on me instead. Arent we comrades? What happened? Trying to fight for a better life irregardless of whether I'll be the one suffering more? What's this? Cant I even have a epaceful off day? I was "eaten" up a few times and I just kept quiet w/o trying to drag you down the pool with me so why are u doing this? LOL! Who can I really trust?
This is not a movie but a real problem I'm facing. We need manpower!!! Why's all of us so stressed up? It's not physically straining for sure but mentally. Sigh... when will there be any changes???
Pray for me :) Just hope every single day is a peaceful and enjoyable day for me. If only I stayed behind in my alien planet. That's what we will face when we get transferred to a new planet. SIGH..... Pray for me :)
Aliens vs predators? It's as good as saying the aliens are the preys. Yea that's wad's happening to me currently. I'm new and we're the one of the first few batch of elites posted to this new place. We're alien to them of course. I thought this group of guys I'm with are my allies but some are starting to prey on me instead. Arent we comrades? What happened? Trying to fight for a better life irregardless of whether I'll be the one suffering more? What's this? Cant I even have a epaceful off day? I was "eaten" up a few times and I just kept quiet w/o trying to drag you down the pool with me so why are u doing this? LOL! Who can I really trust?
This is not a movie but a real problem I'm facing. We need manpower!!! Why's all of us so stressed up? It's not physically straining for sure but mentally. Sigh... when will there be any changes???
Pray for me :) Just hope every single day is a peaceful and enjoyable day for me. If only I stayed behind in my alien planet. That's what we will face when we get transferred to a new planet. SIGH..... Pray for me :)
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
A Night of Fellowship
Slept late last night and woke up late for sure haha. Never really think before I agreed to go watch fast & furious with simon and wei hong. Regretted after a few mins cos it's time for me to save up!!! Been spending alot on foods and transportations. Luckily, tickets were sold out BUT simon insisted on watching it back at JP so we left town early and I went straight to josh's hse. Watched NBA awhile till I fall asleep. Dam sleepy today. Kinda lazy to go for night prawning but since I agreed to go, no choice then LOL!!!
To my surprise, it was quite interesting lol! Caught 4 prawns with josh. Not bad for a first try. Enjoyed the night and thks josh for sending me home haha! Took quite a no. of photos and YEA thks to josh again hahaha! Just realized I'm the opp of josh. I'm always the one runnning behind one's back whereas he's always the one running at the front line. Not bad ah!!! Too charming and charismatic hahaha! Same goes to norman la.... happy? HAHAHA!
The thought of booking in tmr pisses me off LOL!!!!
Slept late last night and woke up late for sure haha. Never really think before I agreed to go watch fast & furious with simon and wei hong. Regretted after a few mins cos it's time for me to save up!!! Been spending alot on foods and transportations. Luckily, tickets were sold out BUT simon insisted on watching it back at JP so we left town early and I went straight to josh's hse. Watched NBA awhile till I fall asleep. Dam sleepy today. Kinda lazy to go for night prawning but since I agreed to go, no choice then LOL!!!
To my surprise, it was quite interesting lol! Caught 4 prawns with josh. Not bad for a first try. Enjoyed the night and thks josh for sending me home haha! Took quite a no. of photos and YEA thks to josh again hahaha! Just realized I'm the opp of josh. I'm always the one runnning behind one's back whereas he's always the one running at the front line. Not bad ah!!! Too charming and charismatic hahaha! Same goes to norman la.... happy? HAHAHA!
The thought of booking in tmr pisses me off LOL!!!!
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